


homesick

by ohztao



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, I guess it's fluff in some sort of way but mostly angsty?, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 18:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6820126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohztao/pseuds/ohztao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>what jeonghan hates the most, was that he wakes up, alone, on the cold side of the bed, every morning to the same scent. the pillows, the sheets, and sometimes he catches it himself, and he's too scared to wash it away because he'd get homesick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	homesick

jeonghan loves joshua's eyes; they made the stars in the night sky dull with the way they sparkled. his gaze was always sincere, as if every look- even the slightest glance, hid a lot of feelings.  
there were times joshua would smile and he could see the galaxies forming in his eyes. sometimes tears seeped out it's corners and it glistens and jeonghan immediately knows that that genuine one look meant joshua would never let him go.  
jeonghan never looks at joshua in the eye anymore. may it be he passes by or he asks him a question, jeonghan avoided his gaze. he looked down. he looked past his face. he wouldn't face him straight whenever they talked.  
nothing's as much interesting to look at when joshua's dull eyes no longer sparkled.

jeonghan loves joshua's hands. those hands would always find a way through his', crawling up down to his wrist then entwining their fingers together. wether they're eating, watching a movie, walking, spacing out in the practice room or even in their sleep.  
joshua's hands were soft and warm, there were times joshua would cup his face and kiss his forehead and softly graze his fingertips on his cheek, and showers them with soft butterfly kisses.  
jeonghan doesn't remember what joshua's hands feel like anymore. sometime's he'll see the same hands holding roses not meant for him. and sometimes, if he's lucky, he'll see the same fingers entwined with someone else's.

one of the reasons jeonghan fell in love with joshua was because of his laugh. he was witty and hilarious, and when his soft giggles tickle his ears, or his loud cackles resound across the room, jeonghan feels himself fall all the more. because when joshua laughs and his eyes crinkle into crescents, when joshua smiles a little that the corners of his lips curl up a bit;  
jeonghan has to convince himself that this all isn't a dream.  
joshua doesnt smile anymore, at least not at jeonghan. but jeonghan would still hear the same bright laugh from behind the walls, from a joke that jeonghan didn't crack. every night since he left, joshua's smile makes its way to his dreams.  
he'd abruptly wake up and god, thank god, it was all just a nightmare.

it may sound weird- but jeonghan loves the way joshua smells. maybe because whenever joshua pulls him close, and he nuzzles his face on his ear, or his neck, or just slightly nudge a little closer so that their noses bump a little, jeonghan could smell his fragrance. it was sweet; it smelled of love, it smelled like flowers. sometimes it smelled somewhat citrusy. sometimes, it smelled like the perfume he got him for his birthday last year.  
what jeonghan liked the most, was waking up, next to joshua, with the male's fresh morning scent lingering on the bed. the pillows, sheets, and even jeonghan himself, will catch the scent of him. and it was the scent of home.  
but now jeonghan only now finds his lingering scent pungent; it was the smell he despised. the scent of flowers had wilted, the scent of citrus had soiled, the scent was alien, he didn't even recognize the perfume brand because it's definitely not the one he bought.  
what jeonghan hates the most, was that he wakes up, alone, on the cold side of the bed, every morning to the same scent. the pillows, the sheets, and sometimes he catches it himself, and he's too scared to wash it away because he'd get homesick.

jeonghan finds the words "i love you" the sweetest when it comes out of joshua's lips. the tone heartfelt, comfortingly soft honey-voice; followed only by the sweetest concerns. embarrassingly corny things like "are your hands cold? do you want to hold mine?" or "i've missed you, even though i was only gone for thirty minutes." jeonghan feels his chest tickle a little, and he still feels a churning pit feeling in his stomach whenever he hears those words.  
and he still feels the same. and he still holds onto them.  
even now that it's meant for someone else.


End file.
